2009 New Year's Resolutions

So shempre, bagong taon.. bagong buhay...

I'm listing my 2009 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Be punctual. Come to work at least an hour before shift. Saves me money in the long run. I get to ride the PUJ instead of hailing a cab plus no late deductions and no memos coming from my sup.

2. Be organized. In everything... as in E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! haha.. from my stuff, to Celo's stuff to my emails, phone and all the other chorva. hahaha..

3. Be a camwhore. I have a camera that came from my `rents. I haven't been taking a lot of pictures lately and if I do, I'm too lazy to upload it. Ha! I need to capture those wonderful Celo moments.

4. Learn to cook. I love eating but I hate cooking. But since I'm a mom now, I know that I have to learn to cook or else... Anyway, my brother always reminds me how we all love our Mom's cooking. He says that whatever food I cook, Celo will love it too. Therefore, I need to learn asap. hahaha...

5. Give my online business time. I love selling online. Money earned here is for those extra what-have-yous I want. It's still in the works though.

6. Climb again. I want to go hiking and climbing anything! hahaha.. I miss my college days with the Outdoor Club. I'm not physically fit but hopefully I get to join a group again and relive my love for the mountains.

7. Save for the future. Save for me & Celo's future. I opened Celo a bank account and I'm setting a realistic goal of putting away at least 500 per payday. Ideally, that'll be 1k per month so by the end of the year, I should have at least 12k+ on Celo's savings that I shouldn't touch. Hopefully, I'd be able to do it on my 2nd atm too for myself.

8. Pay off my debts. I wanna be debt free. Brings peace of mind too. haha...

9. Be goal-oriented. I'm really a happy-go-lucky type of person. I don't plan for the future. Obvious ba? I need to set goals for myself and for my kid. Think "The Secret!"

10. Live, laugh and love... That's it. I've just got 1 life to live. I need to smile a lot. Love myself more. Give more.

That's it! 3 more days and it's 2009!

To my mom & dad who are miles away from me.. I love you both so much. I may not express it often, and I may not be that good a daughter always.. but everything you have done for me and Marcelo is very much appreciated. I sincerely thank the Lord that you're my parents and you're always alive and well.

To my dear brother Kuya Chris, we may always quarrel a lot and I may be a pessismist and a brat at times but I thank you dearly, for you have always been there to take care of my precious lil one when I'm away at work. Sacrificing yourself, things that you could have done with your time. I hope that this coming year, you'd find a job suitable for you that you'll learn to love.

To my eldest brother Mike, for the longest time I know we don't understand each other.. I may always seem pissed at you but I know you care about me more than I'll ever know. I'm sorry for my shortcomings and for understanding you. But I hope there will come a time we'll settle our differences and be close like we were when I was still a kid.

To Marteo, I'd always love you and stick by you no matter what. I know you love me like you always do in your own little way. We may not be the ideal couple in a relationship but I like this complicated-what-have-you that we've got. Whatever happens, you'll always be the father of my kid.. and I love you dearly and would never ever regret that we have Celo.

To my wonderful baby Celo. You're big now! For a 2 yr.old kid, you've got a lot going for you! I always thank the Lord that He has given me a wonderful, smart, handsome, independent & healty baby boy. I couldn't ask for anything more.. I love you the most above all else and always remember that no matter what, Mama will always give you all the love and caring that you need. Always. Just stay sweet and rock on!

Thank you Lord for the good life you have given me. For being there whenever I'm down and for giving me challenges so I could learn to pick myself up. I have been neglecting my Christian duties for some time now but I sincerely thank you for everything, for all the blessings and for this wonderful life that you have given me.

To all my friends and foes... basically, to everyone.. thanks for taking the time to read this...hehe..

Happy 2009!

Wala akong karapatan magselos...

pero nagseselos ako.

Hindi naman tayo...

pero parang tayo pero hindi.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko...

tumunganga?  pumunta sa isang tabi, magbulag-bulagan?

Wala akong pwedeng gawin...

dahil wala naman talaga diba?

Ako'y nasasaktan...

ako'y manhid sa katotohanan.

Sana ngayong Pasko may magbago...

ito nga ba ang gusto ko?

Mahal kita...

at forever kitang mamahalin.

Sana lang mahal mo din ako...

tulad ng dati.

Busy

Takte.. nabibwisit ako..

ang dami kong gustong gawin..

at ang daming ginagawa.. kainis!

at sobrang onting oras..

at 1 lang ako.. 2 kamay..

hay buhay..

AT&T White Christmas Party

Grabbed photos from Jeh.. Tinamad ako dalhin yung camera ko eh.. hahaha...

Team Lycans: (clockwise from top) pia, tl len, mae, jake, ako, jeh & thea

tl, jakey, ako, jeh and thea

qsp leen, thea, jeh & me

thea, jeh & me

Me.. ang taba ko! LOL

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Although we don't celebrate this tradition in the Philippines, I love this holiday!

Can you guess why?

Well, if you don't I'll give you a couple of reasons why...

1. Thanksgiving is one of the holidays that Americans celebrate na bongacious talaga. It's like how we celebrate Christmas here but even better. They celebrate it with family and friends, eat Turkey and have lots of festivities lined up. It's actually a long weekend

2. Since it's a holiday, less to no calls for us which equates to less to no work but with pay. Teehee!

3. No vgh today. We used to have this voluntary-go-home aka uwi-ka-na-pero-bawas-sweldo-mo. No vgh today and that's okay with me. I get paid without actually doing anything. hehehe..

4. More time for bonding. Had a meeting earlier. At long last! All because of high avail time.

5. It may be coincidental but it's payday today! yipee!!!

There's so much to be thankful for...

I'm thankful for being alive.

I'm thankful I have a wonderful, smart and healthy son.

I'm thankful my parents are healthy, although far away, I'm more closer to them than before.

I'm thankful I have a roof over my head, even it's not that convenient.. at least I can still sleep soundly.

I'm thankful I have a job.  Yup, even if I rant over and over about how tiring it is.. honestly, I still love it! 

I'm thankful I have friends.  Loving friends.  Trustworthy friends.

I'm thankful I have a good brother.. who even with my shortcomings, loves my son very much.

I'm thankful I still have you.  You're still there.  

Bwisit!

I'm never been this pissed off with a relative.

Well, other than with my brothers who I often quarrel with every so often.

This one takes the bait...

---

Ayaw ko sa taong pakialamera. Dahil hindi naman ako mahilig makialam sa buhay ng buhay.
Sinasabi mong nagmamalasakit ka lang sa nanay ko. Sobra naman ata yung pamamalasakit mo. Wala namang masama dun. Pero kung araw-araw o oras-oras na makikita mo ako eh yun ang binabanggit mo o tinatanong mo, nakakairita.

Alam ko malaki ang utang na loob ko sayo. Tinulungan mo ako noong panahong nangangailangan ako ng tulong. Pero nakakapagtaka naman talaga kase yung malasakit mo sa SSS pension ng nanay ko.

Atat na atat kang maasikaso yun. Ang nanay ko nga hindi ako kinukulit eh. Ipapaalala ko lang...PERA niya yun ha! At ang pagkakaalam ko kase gagastusin yun sa pagpapaayos ng bahay o pangdown kung kukuha ng condo.

Hindi naman kame nagmamadaling kunin yung pera. Dahil once nagmadali kame, pag nakuha na yun baka magastos kagad... eh may pinaglalaanan nga diba?

Oonga, wala ka kamo interes dun at nagmamagandang loob ka lang para sa amin. Sinasabi mong nagpapakahirap nanay ko sa Tate para sa amin. Naiinis ka at kung anu-ano ang pinapadala ng magulang ko para sa amin. Kinakargo pa kame. Nagkakasakit daw ang nanay ko dahil sa amin.

Nanay ko yun. Magulang ko. Kung ano man ang gusto niyang ibigay sa aming mga anak niya, wala ka na dun. Pera niya yun eh. Kung may ibigay siya, wala kang magagawa. Kung gusto niya kame i-spoil, wala kang pakialam. Kung pano niya kame palakihin, wala ka na rin dun.

Ngayon ang SSS ng nanay ko pera niya yun. Kung mayroong mga makikinabang dun, kame yun. Pamilya namin. Kung kame nga na makikinabang dun eh hindi nagmamadali kunin yun, ano bang nasa tumbong mo at kating-kati ka malakad yun?

Balak namin na kunin ito as lump sum. Gagamitin siya pandagdag sa pagpapagawa ng bahay o pagbili ng condo. Ako ay magloloan sa Pag-ibig para dito. Ang lahat ng ito ay balak namin ayusin sa susunod na taon.

Nagsumbong ako sa nanay ko. Di ko alam kung tama pero sinabi ko na rin.

---

I'm quite calm now... I just arrived home but I'll be leaving again. Will be going back to Ate Anne's place. Celo is there with his dad.

13th Month Pay

Shiyeeeet...

So near... yet so far...

ang dami ko ng gustong bilhin. ang dami ng nakapila.. hanggang ngayon wala ka pa rin...

hahaha...

may bago na naman akong gustong gawin at bilhin...

magupgrade ng memory at HD sa macbook ko...

at shempre palitan ang lintsak na keyboard ko... huhuhu mukhang gusgusin na si lappie eh!

checking some stuff in Philmug... & most probably buy the keyboard replacement in Ebay..

Sana December na.. hehehe..

change template

For the nth time..

madali ata ako magsawa sa background template..

hehe..

anyway, another suckmylolly design.. thanks!

for other free wonderful & fantabulous blogspot templates visit : suckmylolly

I Want

This officially in:

I'm lemming for a Nintendo DS Lite.



'Tis one of the gadgets I so want to have right now. Thinking about it, makes me forgot the Nokia e61 I've been lusting over 2 weeks ago. Hehe..

Why the DS Lite you ask? Why not the PSP, ipod or the iphone?

I admit I'm not into those RPG games. I'm more into the "cutie-cutie games" I call it. hehe.. I'm not into music either, so having an ipod or an iphone really doesn't make my mouth drool.

But this one bites the dust.

This is actually of the current fads here in the office. Colleagues left and right who's into gaming and are always in the pantry playing hold this as much as possible. Lunch time, breaks and even pre or post shift, people are holding PSP to pass the time, entertain themselves or really just addicted to it playing.

As of now, still not addict. HA! It's still out of reach. Wait till I get my hands on my 13th month pay and I'd be off to Greenhills to canvass and shop till I drop for this device I oh-so-want as of the moment.

I was able to read some threads in Girltalk (my ever-fave forum) about this new toy I'm lemming for. Reading about it, I'm sold on the DS Lite already..

I can't wait to get my 13th month pay! 1 month more to go and I'll be off to Greenhills shopping.. haha.. My christmas present to myself. LOL. Donchawori, will share it with Celo.

Only problem there is my brother's violent reactions about the color I want to get. I said I want the pink one. His violent reaction: "Celo might not want to play with it coz of the girly color." Hello?!? He's just 2! hahaha.. Is it really my son or my bro who'd be conscious about playing a pink DS Lite? hahaha..

Can You?

it was just a glimpse of what life could be
it's not me who would decide of it
but you..

can you?

that's what we don't know.
if maybe you're brave enough..
you would..

but can you?

leave the ego behind
leave the bachelor behind
love me and let me

can you?

Christmas Wish List

It's October already...

and I would like to list down as early as now the things I want..

so, come and sing with me...

"All I want for Christmas is..."

actually are ata to.. hahahah... list kase eh! at nde 2 front teeth no.. okay pa naman mga ngipin ko..

pero heto sila...

1. Nokia E51 - sira na yung v3x ko. :( eh wala akong extra phone. this is the cheapest phone with wlan function. nalaman ko lang to sa kachat ko. sabi niya meron daw siya bago and 50% off daw niya binebenta. perks of the job kaya meron siya nito. eh wala pa akong ganong pera as of now eh. ang layo layo pa ng ng 13th month pay! huhuhu... mabait naman ako sir eh.. pwede bang ikaw na lang Santa ko? Gud gel naman po ako.. please? please? pretty please?!?
2. Brush Tool Belt - tagal ko ng gusto ko magkaron nito. kungsabagay as of the moment, mejo busy ako sa work.. hindi ko magawa tong racket na to na gustung-gusto ko.. huhuhu.. pero kahit na gusto ko pa rin magkaron para pag kelangan ko na.. ready na.. malapit na Christmas eh. so malamang pwede na akong rumaket ulit.. hahaha.. party-party.. lol..
3. Pillows - soft, fluffy, white pillows.. pwede madami? hahaha.. wala kameng unan ng anak ko eh! lol..
4. Tiffany Necklace - nag-iinarte lang ako.. matagal ko na tong gusto. kahit yung kaparehas lang pero mas okay kung yung original. hahaha...
5. Adidas Lasalle Jacket - preferable white. 3 na kase yung green kong jacket. over na over na ako sa green kung bibili pa ng isa diba? hehe.. gusto ko yung may hood.
   
6. DIY mineral make-up kit - matagal ko ng gusto matuto nito at gumawa. wala kase dito nabibili sa US lang. pwede na yung sa Ocean Mist.. pero kung mas may budget.. preferred ko ung sa TKB. feeling ko mas kumpleto.. everything-you-need eh!
7. Pasta Machine - I-oh-so-want to learn how to make accessories and whatever knick-knacks with polymer clay. My bro has a pasta machine.. but of course, that's for his pasta. I want one of my own for my clay stuff if ever I would pursue this endeavor
8. Polymer Clay - people say that Premo is a good brand. I haven't touched any polymer clay yet so whatever polymer clay you want to give me is fine with me!
9. Yaya - sana magkaron na ako ng all-around-yaya na mabait, maalaga, at mapagkakatiwalaan. this is to keep me sane on some trying times that my son is being tough or hard to handle. I love my kid. But I still need the extra help. Hindi ko pa nakukuha yung superpowers ng nanay ko na kaya gawin ang lahat eh!

thank you!

uhmm.. meron ako dapat iboblog dito nung weekend. kaso hindi ko nasave yung mga pinagsusulat ko.

sayang!

pero ok lang. matatawa ka lang kase sa lukso ng aking damdamin. haha.

oh well, hindi ko na ulit nasubukan ulitin kung ano man yung dapat kong isulat, dahil tinamad ako.

nasira kase ang telepono.

hahaha..

pero etong blog kong ito ay para sayo.

ako'y iyong pinangiti.. :)

ng di mo lang alam.

ng dahil sayo, nalaman ko na espesyal pa rin pala ako. or pwede pa rin akong maging espesyal sa mata ng iba.

na may humahanga pa rin pala saken.

na pwede pa rin pala na may magkagusto saken.

kahit ako'y..

isang dalagang ina.

---

natuwa ako nung nagkita tayo. kase ang tagal-tagal nung tayo ay huling nagkita. hayskul pa yun no! at natatawa ako sa mga kwentuhan natin kase nga ang nerdy-nerdy mo pa nun eh.

hmm.. di ko alam kung gradeskul o hayskul un pero, dati nagkakausap tayo sa telepono dahil nga sa aking kaibigan.

heniwei...

maraming salamat at ikaw ay aking kaibigan.
ako'y iyong pinangiti.
abot hanggang tenga.
peksman.
salamat sa pag-intindi sa nararamdaman ko.

mahirap man aminin pero eto kase yung totoo eh..

marts pa rin.

"Kung dalawa ang mahal mo,
mas piliin mo yung pangalawa
kase hindi ka naman maghahanap ng iba
kung mahal mo talaga ang una."

siguro may katotohanan itong mga katagang ito.

pero nalulungkot ako. nakakalungkot kase ang kanyang ibig sabihin.

para sa isang taksil na kagaya ko..(oo, naging taksil ako minsan sa buhay ko.. hindi ko siya pinagmamalaki pero hindi ko na siya mapagkakaila)

minsan sa buhay natin dumadating ang pagsubok. ang pagsubok na nagmamahal ka pero ang taong mahal mo ayaw sayo.

dumadating din ang pagkakataon na kayo pa pero may dumadating na iba. hindi mo maiwan ang isa dahil mahal mo naman siya pero ayaw mo na manggaling sayo na ayaw mo na. at sa isa, hindi mo rin naman mahindian. dahil nga gusto mo siya. pwedeng nahulog na ang loob mo, nainlababo ka na.

pero dumadating din ang oras na kayo pa (pwedeng hindi na rin kayo) tapos nagsisimula ka na sa panibago at eto ang punto na babalik na sayo ang mahal mo.

masakit. sa isip. sa puso. sa ulo. pati siguro sa puson.

sino ang pipiliin mo?

---

meron akong malapit na kaibigan na ganito ang kanyang sitwasyon. ayaw naman niya manggago. pero siguro ang sarili niya ang kanyang ginagago.

---

sabi ko nga kanina, minsan sa buhay ko ako'y naging taksil.

minsan pag inisip mo akala mo maganda ang pakiramdam ng taong nagtataksil. hindi kaya.

baket kamo?

magulo ang utak ng isang taksil. hindi siya makapagdesisyon kung sino ba talaga ang pipiliin niya sa mga pagpipilian.

pero nakakaramdam din siya ng saya. aba, shempre, pagkaguluhan ka ba naman diba. pag-awayan ng iba. parang ang haba-haba ng buhok mo abot hanggang sa kahabaan ng edsa.

---

ako'y nagtaksil. pero ako'y pinagtaksilan din.

naramdaman ko ang sakit at pagdurugo ng aking puso 10x over ng naramdaman ko nung ako'y nangaliwa.

hindi naman masaya ang magkaron ng iba bukod sa mahal mo eh.

pero nung ako naman ang napindeho. ang sakit. nagdugo. namanhid. ang aking puso.

ang tawag diyan ng iba karma.

nasaktan ako nung nalaman ko. kaya nung umamin sakin, masakit pero hindi na masyado.

pero sino niloko ko?


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andito ako sa punto ng buhay ko na ako'y nagtatanong sa sarili ko kung gusto ko pa ba magmahal muli?

kaya ko pa ba higitan ang pagmamahal at pagmumukhang tanga na ginawa ko dati?

meron pa kayang magpapangiti sa akin at hindi ako paluluhain?

meron pa kayang tatanggapin ako kung sino ako?

o ako'y makuntento na lang kaya dito sa isang sulok.

maghintay.

mag-abang.

at baka sakali may magparamdam.

may bumalik.

at ako'y mahalin muli.

G: I like you.
B: I can't. I have a girl.
G: So what? That's fine by me. This is not the like-love thingie.
B: But I really can't. I've been honest with you from the start, remember? I didn't lie to you whatsoever.
G: I know and I understand. And as I've said, it's fine by me.
B: I'm sorry if it seems that I'm rude sometimes.. I just don't want to send mixed signals coz again as I've said.. I have a girl.

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Ang gulo niyo!

Minsan hindi ko alam kung kanino ako maiinis.

Pero siguro matatanda na sila. Alam na nila pinaggagawa nila.

Google.. my love

hahaha...

eto lang ang masasabi ko...



best of friends kame nito.. never lets me down.. imagine that!

hmm... i likey

I've been trying to look for the perfect blog skin.. well... until now I still haven't found the "one".. hehehe...

Eh pano ba naman.. green ang favorite kong color.. parang wala akong type sa mga green na nakikita ko.  Ung iba naman either over or kulang sa design.  Well, I'll settle for my next favorite color on the list.. pink! fink! basta yun!

Special thanks to Sharnee for this wonderful pinkish template.   For more free wonderful, ooh-lala templates.. go to suckmylolly.com.. yep, you read it right...SUCK MY LOLLY! hehehe...

Pag Pinipilit, Lalong Nasisira

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko naman sinasadya. Ayaw ko na ngang pumunta. So bakit pa ako pumunta? Napilitan akong pumunta dahil sa anak ko. Natural tatay niya yun. Kaarawan ng tatay niya... so kailangan pumunta. Nang-imbita ang lola eh, anong magagawa ko? Pero sa totoo ayaw ko talaga.

Hindi ko na nabili ang dapat kong bibilhin para sa kanya. Hindi na ako nag-effort kahit gustuhin ko. Hay buhay.

Sabi niya sa akin gusto niya mapag-isa.

Natagpuan ko siyang tulog nung kami'y dumating. Nung ginising ko siya tinanong ko siya... Anniversary pala ng pagkakaibigan niyo. 1 yr na pala kayong nagkakape. Bwisit ang bungad sa akin. Galit na galit at tantanan ko daw siya. Huwag daw ako makulit. Nagdabog. Nagpapalabas sa kuwarto. Nagsusumigaw na parang hari.

Sa totoo hindi ako nakikipag-away. Siguro nang-aasar lang. Eh, sa asar din ako, baket ba?
Pero ako'y napaluha. Alam kong babanggitin mo dapat ang di ko gusto marinig. Pero di ko alam ano ang nagpigil sayo para hindi sabihin ito.

Makulit ako. Deal with it. Ganon talaga ako. Ngayon kung hindi mo talaga kaya ang kulit ko... Ganon talaga ang buhay. Hahanap-hanapin mo din ang kulit ko akala mo. Dahil pag hindi na kita kinulit, wa na ako pake.

Minsan iniisip ko kung bumalik ako sa dati. Walang pakialam. Magkasama tayo sa iisang bubong, pero walang pakialamanan. Gawin ko gusto ko, nagagawa mo gusto mo. Walang sabihan kung anong trip. Ganon lang. Kaso hindi siya relasyon. Wala lang. Andun lang ako, pero parang hindi.

Napapaisip ako ngayon kung ano ang dapat kung gawin. Siguro nagpupumilit ako.. pinipilit ko ang hindi pa pwede. Naalala ko tuloy yung isa kong telepono. Pinipilit ko siyang ayusin. Hindi ko alam ano pumasok sa utak ko at pilit kong binubuklat ung casing niya.. ayan tuloy nasira!

Ganito rin kaya tayo? Habang pinipilit ayusin.. ayan lalong nasisira?!?

Payo nila hayaan kita.

Ang isip ko naman: Ayaw ko.. paano na ako?

Kasakiman ba ito? Selfishness on my part? Mukha nga akong tanga... kasakiman pa rin?

Kung praktikal ka, alam mo na ang dapat mong gagawin.. pero hindi. HINDI KA PRACTIKAL.

Ako? Martyr daw ang tawag sa akin. Binabaril sa Luneta. hahaha.. Kelan kaya ako matatauhan?

Lintek na pag-ibig yan. Lalong pinipilit, lalong nasisira. Leche!

Meron akong sikreto

Meron akong sikreto... hahaha... kase nga sikreto hindi ko pa pwede ibunyag.  Pero sa sobrang tuwa ko gusto ko siya iblog! hahaha..  Anyway, I've been thinking what to give this special someone as a perfect gift for his birthday.  So ngayon may idea na ako kung ano ibibigay ko. I'm sure ikakatuwa niya ito pag nabigay ko na sa special day niya.  Fingers crossed.  LOL.. Tinawagan ko na ang kelangan tawagan at nagpareserve na ako ng kelangan ireserve.. soooooo.. hintay-hintay na lang ng araw na yon.  At oongapala... aprub ang pto ko sa araw na yun!  Yey!  Kahit sira ang agent portal ko na nagloloko at nagsasabi na cancelled daw siya, may go-signal na kay TL na aprub siya.  Yun nga lang... sa kagustuhan kong makasama siya..alam mo naman yun, magulo utak.. talo pa babae sa kaartehan.. pero mahal ko siya eh.. anong gagawin ko?!?  Basta-basta.. kahit hindi ko siya makasama buong araw, nais ko lang ibigay sa kanya tong regalo nato na tiyak eh pagkakaguluhan niya at itatanong kung saang lupalop sa pinas ko nakuha at pag nalaman niya paniguradong ipagmamayabang sa mga kaopisina niya.. pero ang tanging hangad ko lang.. pls lang.. wag na wag siya sanang bibili dito at magbibigay lang dun sa hinayupak na malanding babaeng un..hahaha.. nde ako bitter.. asar lang talaga. pano ba naman ang niluto kong sikretong pasta na nasarapan siya at nalaman kung ano yun..ipagluto ba naman dun..leche! anyway.. tama na negatibo.. masaya ako kung ano meron kame.. talaga!  may anak kame na napakabait at napakatalino at napakacute..hahaha.. nanay talaga ako...hangad ko lang sana maayos talaga kame. 

General 6 Card Spread - 8/13/2008

	how you feel about yourself now (Temperance) You feel a need for harmony and balance in your life and indeed are starting to feel that some peace has already been restored. If you have been through some tough times, such as a break up of a relationship or financial problems, peace will be restored. However if you are still experiencing problems, this is a time for calm, careful control and patience and you will soon have a sense of normality again.
	what you most want at this moment (The Hierophant) The cards suggest chel, that what you most want at this time is to have someone around you that you can trust and confide in, knowing that they won’t let you down. There are moral issues here, knowing right from wrong, and you may feel that you need some advice or wise counsel from a teacher, priest, parent or someone you have a lot of respect for, in order to help you make the right decision.
	your fears (The Emperor) You are feeling that success is just around the corner but it feels elusive, just out of reach. You are concerned that the support and help that you want from your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life won’t materialise. Trust and ask for the help you need, and success will be yours.
	what is going for you (Justice) There is a karmic power to the Justice card, reward for the good deeds you have done in the past. This is a period of good luck even if you don’t know why you are being so favoured. You will approach any issues concerning relationships or business affairs with calm, balanced logic and any claim will go in your favour.
	what is going against you (Strength) Your negativity and lack of self control are your real enemies. If you are finding certain addictions in your life are taking a hold, be it smoking or drinking for example, look inward for you hearts true strength and self-belief. Change your attitude and be positive and you will reap great rewards.
	outcome (The Sun) The Sun is shining on you - it's your time for success, joy and happiness. You will feel confident and full of vitality. It's a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, perhaps enjoy a well-earned holiday, a time of pleasure and good news around children or the conception or birth of a longed-for baby. If you are not feeling this way take heart, you will enter this period soon.

Aries - The Player

Just for fun... grabbed this post for Orchid.. hahaha... Me: ARIES - THE PLAYER (3/21-4/19) Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed...(hahaha)Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. My Lover: LEO - THE SEX MANIAC (7/23-8/22) Very talkative. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and SEXY. Have own unique appeal. Irresistible. Most caring person you'll ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with...they will kick your ***... u might end up crying... My Kid: VIRGO - THE BEST SEXUAL PARTNER (8/23-9/22) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it.Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. heheh.. la lang share lang..

My General 6 Card Reading

how you feel about yourself now (The Magician) You feel a sense of purpose and the willpower to get things done. Self-empowerment is the key word here. Any new enterprises in love or career show great potential. You feel that you have the ability to think on your feet and, faced with opposition, the appearance of The Magician is an excellent omen of success. Time to believe in your self and go for it! what you most want at this moment (The Empress) The cards suggest chel, that at this time you desire comfort, security and happiness and may well need some emotional support and reassurance. (If you are considering having a baby the desire will be very strong at this time, or perhaps you are already pregnant and you have some concerns. If male, perhaps you are considering fatherhood with someone but have concerns.) Things will turn out fine, just know that you are loved and that there are people around you who care. your fears (The Sun) You are afraid that things seem too good to be true, so much pleasure and joy - well enjoy it, sometimes we can be pleasantly surprised. If you have been unwell this is a time of rejuvenation and good health. Perhaps you are afraid that things won’t actually get better - have faith you are about to enter a happy and pleasurable time. The Sun heralds an ending to difficulties and a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, a time of pleasure and good news around children or the conception or birth of a longed-for baby. what is going for you (Wheel Of Fortune) Call it fate or destiny but the run of good luck or good fortune you are experiencing or about to experience is mostly not of your doing - enjoy this time. If there seem to be a number of positive coincidences happening in your life this is known as synchronicity, go with the flow and trust it. what is going against you (The World) As always, fear holds us back and so often leads to missed opportunities. Do not give up or change direction this late in the game just because you have experienced delays - stick with it, have faith and trust the universe, and you will reach the successful conclusion you are wanting. outcome (The Hierophant) Help is at hand. If you want wise counsel and moral guidance put your trust in someone you have a lot of respect for. Don’t allow others to influence you too much with what they want you to conform to, be true to yourself. When considering your options go with tried and tested traditional values, rather than the unconventional novel approach. For example marriage is more likely to be your desire than a living together situation.

Solitude vs. Loneliness --THE HERMIT

Got this from Lotus Tarot [ http://lotustarot.com ] email...

Hi chel

What’s the difference between solitude and loneliness?

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE HERMIT



For me, the difference is solitude is something you WANT
and feel comfortable with, a peaceful, relaxing and
inspirational space, and loneliness is an UNWANTED
experience of being on your own.

>> Okay..so maybe I'm lonely.


I believe one of the greatest fears we have is the fear of
loneliness, especially the loneliness that we feel when
we are without a lover.

>> Does it ring a bell? haha.. fear of lonelines..


This fear traps many of us into unfulfilling or
destructive relationships, or leads us into pursuing the
wrong person just to AVOID being on our own.

>> Am I self-destructing? I think I'm like this way, way, back... as in waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back. I get into relationship as fast as lightning could strike, just afraid of being alone.


When The Hermit appears in your reading, it may represent
the loneliness you feel at the time. And remember, it is
possible to feel more isolated and lonely in an unhappy
relationship or marriage than when you are actually on your
own!

>> For the past 3 months that we separated, I felt a breath of fresh air! Whew! Never been better! But that's it. I'm alone... but I'm better in terms of mentally, physically and emotionally.

If this is the case, the card is suggesting you take time
out for inner reflection. In fact, The Hermit is also known
as the Contemplation card in some Tarot decks. Why do you
feel lonely? What can you do to help turn unwanted
loneliness into welcome solitude?

>> Naku, inner reflection..

Do you believe you can transform your loneliness into
solitude? I believe you can. Focus on contemplating
positive opportunities and outcomes. Spend your time
reflecting on past joys and accomplishments. Consider what
you can do with your life to create more satisfaction and
fulfillment.

The Hermit is saying ‘take your time and chill out, don’t
make any hasty or impetuous decisions, THINK about the
issues in your life carefully and from a more open-minded
perspective and with a more positive attitude’.

>> chillax lang.. ehehe.. think positive. the secret. ayos!

The card also suggests you should be patient, as it may
take a little more time before the period of unwanted
loneliness you are suffering will pass. Of course, it can
also mean don’t let the fear of loneliness hold you back
from making an important decision!

>> eto na, eto na.. decisions.. decisions.. DECISIONS!


When The Hermit appears in your readings, don’t rush any
decisions, take time out to think about and contemplate
your options carefully, and if you feel lonely consider how
you can change the way you view your ‘loneliness’ to create
a sense of solitude instead.

>> One of good friends had advised me to take things slow. Enjoy what I have for now. Huwag magmadali. Enjoy the moment. At least, we're talking now. Patience.....


Love and Joy,
Alison

You have Two Choices

*** got this online. just something to think about...***

Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply: "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant

Why?

Because Jerry was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling him how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life."

"But it's not always that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said.

"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations.. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how you live your life."

Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business. He left the back door of his restaurant open And then in the morning, he was robbed by three armed men.

While Jerry trying to open the safe box, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied.

"Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared" I asked?

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine.

But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.

In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man..

I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything."

'Yes,' to bullets, I replied.

Over their laughter, I told them: "I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

"Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours - that no one can control or take from you is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

untitled

For the past couple of days,my heart and my mind are on a whirl. I really don't know what to think or feel now that I know the truth. I'm not angry when I finally heard from him what I've known all along. In fact, I totally understand what he's currently undergoing right now.

I was once in his shoes. Falling in love with someone else yet I still love and care for him. You could say that I was a two-timer in that phase of my life. Bad,isn't it? But well, I'd been there. Done that. But for sure, I wouldn't do it again. I learned a lot during that phase of my life.

He's in love..but with someone else. Painful as it may sound, but I still love him. I'm not a hypocrite to say that I'm not hurt. I AM. BUT! I'm not in my psychotic mode now..hahaha... that's what his friends refer to me..psychotic ex. I'm actually numb. I don't feel a thing. I don't know what to feel. I cry, yes. I still cry from time to time. But the feeling that I want him all to myself..well.. yes. I admit, I want him mine. Maybe not for now. Nah..that's not true. I want him mine but then again.. I dunno.

So many things have happened between us. We fought, separated but still I want him there.

I'm just a simple girl. I want us to be a family. A real family. One of my good friends told me to take things slow. He did say that too. It's actually good that we're talking again. I miss those talks. It's been a long time since we talked about anything and everything under the sun. It makes me smile that we're talking again. TAKE-THINGS-SLOW...My request? I want to see him often as I could not just with Celo as a family.. but just the two of us like we're dating again.

Yes, we're dating again. Maybe not exclusively but it's a start.

I love him so much and I understand what he's undergoing right now. Us being together may still be a dream but maybe we'll get there slowly but surely. He has a lot of issues to resolve on his own. He needs this for his own growth.

Meanwhile, I still have Marcelo to love and nurture. He's a product of us. I'm learning a lot too from my kid. Everyday, he learns a new word..like ba-shet-bol.. ah...basketball pala un..hehehe.. He tinkers with his piano telling me in his German language that there's no battery and he would like to get a screwdriver to open it up and put batteries.. He loves reading and me teaching him things. He's so happy when we're complete. You would see it in his eyes.

Sometimes it gets me thinking.. Is it right that I'm doing this?

Maybe it's the ideal. Maybe there's no right or wrong answer.

Day by day, I learn something new. Makes me smile that this is happening right now. I still have this wish etched on my mind.. I often tell Celo to be patient and everything would work out fine in the end. But well, it's up to him to decide the ending of this fairy tale.

Eraserheads

got this from wikipedia...

2008 Reunion

It has been confirmed by the members that they will be reuniting, on August 30 2008, Ely said that the reunion will be for a night only.A famous tobacco company is said to be behind the up coming event. Sources say that the band members were paid P10,000,000.00 each for a 45 minute set. Buendia was quoted saying "Im not doing this for the money but for the E-heads fans who remain loyal". They are expecting 35,000 attendees and tickets will be distributed online for free early August 2008. This highly awaited one-night concert is reportedly to be held at CCP open grounds.

gusto ko manood nito!!!hahaha..

Eraserheads

got this from wikipedia...

2008 Reunion

It has been confirmed by the members that they will be reuniting, on August 30 2008, Ely said that the reunion will be for a night only.A famous tobacco company is said to be behind the up coming event. Sources say that the band members were paid P10,000,000.00 each for a 45 minute set. Buendia was quoted saying "Im not doing this for the money but for the E-heads fans who remain loyal". They are expecting 35,000 attendees and tickets will be distributed online for free early August 2008. This highly awaited one-night concert is reportedly to be held at CCP open grounds.

My Family

Our family pic after a long, long time.

Me, Celo and Marts in Jollibee last July 13,2008. We were supposed to go to the zoo but it was postponed because of the rains. Anyway, we just went to Megamall for some strolling and eating. Where else would we eat but to Celo's ever favorite Krispy Kreme and Jollibee hangouts..hahaha..

Let's just say that after the storm, we've been talking and maybe, hopefully we could work things out to be a family again. These 2, especially the little one is the most important man in my life. I'd fight heaven and hell just for him. The big one, I loved a lot.. we may have lots of misunderstandings in the past but he'll always be and always is the man I've truly loved.

organizing and uploading photos

waaaaah!!!

naduduling at nahihirapan ako magupload ng pics..tsk tsk.. pano naipon.. 300+ pictures.. naupload na sa flickr ko but kelangan ko pa i-organize. tsk tsk..

i guess i need to have 1 free whole day. baket ba nde ko to ginawa nung pto???

Yoga

For the past couple of days, I've had yoga in my mind. hehe..

It all started when we went to Yellow Cab last Saturday. Thanks Jeh for the treat! and belated happy 10th to you and Ed!

Anyway, I saw this article regarding "Hot Yoga." It featured the Bikram Yoga Manila. After reading it, it made me want to do it. I've been wanting to try it out ages ago way back in college. Neither had the funds, the time nor the will to do it.. hahaha...

Well, I believe now is the time in my life to explore the possibilities of learning Yoga. I'm still on the "research" stage. Trying to look for a center that would fit my budget, time and of course, location is accessible.

Here's a list of the yoga centers I found on the net.

1. Ananda Marga Yoga Center - located in Sikatuna Village, Q.C.
Price for the 8-week course is 1800pesos which includes a book and a cd. 250pesos for drop-ins. Not bad.

2. Bikram Yoga Manila - located in Salcedo Village, Makati
This is the center I read from the mag. They have an introductory package which costs 1k for 3 sessions that you must take within a week. If you decide after experiencing the introductory package that you want more, just add 4k and be able to avail of their unlimited package for a month. Quite expensive if you shell out the 5k instantly but if you compute it, it's cheaper. But then again, can I do that do yoga for 30 days straight? hehehe..

3. Yoga Manila - has 3 locations: Ortigas, Makati and Alabang.
400pesos per class. 2200pesos for 6 classes can be taken over a 90-day period in any 3 locations. Not bad.

4. Pulse Yoga - located in Greenhills.
500pesos for walk-ins. One week unlimited pass for 1200pesos or 4k monthly. This by far is the nearest to me but still seems expensive. Sorry, I'm a cheapskate.. hahaha...

5. Vinyasa Yoga Center - located in Ortigas.
400pesos for a trial session. 4200 for 12 sessions. Not bad too. This is near my office so the place is really accessible.

So why all this yoga stuff in mind? Well, I just really need to do something. Something constructive, take my mind off my problems and in the process be stress-free and lose weight too. hehehe..

So who wants to join me on yoga bandwagon?

New Cam

Yup, this is my new toy! Fujifilm FinePix S700. Para siyang mini dslr. Parang one step ahead sa digicam pero low tech na digicam.. hahaha... Okay siya kase may manual functions eh.. daming functions! May auto (shempre), natural, natural/flash, moving, video, at kung ano ano pa. 7.1MegaPixels siya kaya ok din. Hindi mo nga lang napapalitan lens. Pero asteg pa rin! Oonaman, padala ni daddy dearest at mommy dearest eh!

Mejo long overdue na nga na magkaroon ako ng digicam eh. Dapat last year pa, nagkaroon ng restraining order kase, tapos nanenok na. Kaya hayun! Yun sunod na pinadala eh divicam, okay sana kasoooo... nde ko matatransfer dito kay Lappie d' macbook eh. Kase ung cd niya ung super liit.. eh slot loading to... Anyways, this new cam of mine uses an xs picture card parang 3/4 ng mmc ung size eh. Pwede daw transfer through usb or using card reader.. si kuya kuripot wag na daw gamitin ung usb, aksaya sa baterya.. kaya ung card reader na lang daw niya. siguro one of these days gagawin ko pag may pagkakataon. Tamad mode ako e. Naudlot yung linis mode ko. Sayang.. titirahin ko sana ung ref.. sarap linisin eh!

Anyway, this pic was taken on my laptop.. last week pa ata.. hahaha.. walang pagkakataon na mapost at iedit kase.. hahaha...

Anyway, sabi ko nga pupunta na ako ng bangko, kelangan ko ng allowance.. tsk tsk... nagbayad kase ako sa laundry ng sandamakmak kong damit.

Sana approve yung leave ko next week para bakasyon galore.. (kase wala ng pera) hahaha.. maglilinis kase ako dito.. un un!

this is the online pic of my cam.. hehehe...

bagong blog

just created a new blog.. walang magawa! kelangan na ngang matulog, gising pa rin! actually, kelangan ko pumunta ng bangko dahil wala na ako pera pampasok mamaya.. tsk tsk.. kakasweldo lang, wala na naman akong pera.. maniningil na ako.. hahahah...

sana may magbayad! un lng..

meron naman.. tipid mode ever.

bad trip kulang pambili ko ng kama :( huhu..kelan kaya si mama magpapadala? ayaw kong umasa sa ganon kaso kelangan... nagsabi naman siya eh.

dumaan ung in-law kong hilaw. ok naman. ayaw ko ng magsalita. alam ko naman ang gusto nila eh. wala naman sa akin yun. may mga bagay-bagay lang talagang kelangan maayos. kelangan ayusin ng anak nila.

kung ako may pagkakamali, inaamin ko yun. pero nde habambuhay ko un pagdudusahan. gusto kong maging masaya! ngayon kung ayaw mo, di wag.. walang pilitan. basta ako kasama ko anak ko at masaya kame.

un lng nga.. miss kita.. hahaha...

pero ok lng un. lilipas din naman ang pagkamiss ko sau. kung ako nga nde mo namimiss. ung anak mo nga, tinitiis mo.. eh di so be it.

okay lang, that's life.. osha kelangan magbangko.. san kaya ako pupulot ng pera... bili naman kayo sakin..hahhaha...